Dear Kay, Harry, Lynn, I am late in emailng you as i promised i would once i was back in our orphange in Kenya. The same place i was when i first learnt of the nominaton with WOC. We have only just finished the grant to now send to Ross but will let you know how it goes. It is night here in Kenya. I am lying, late night, with my 95 sleeping children scattered all over as usual... unable to sleep myself somehow, even while knowing i have only a few hours. So thought i would write at last before the crazy hectic day begins again. We finally got water today for our orphanage here in Nakuru, after two weeks of trying! Yes. So much need here on so many levels. Our children saw humans speared and hacked to death in front of them during conflict last month, yet feel so thankful they are no longer servants and get food daily. Many of their own chiefs tried to steal our supplies during the fighting not just looters. So sad. The chiefs and upper folks always get pay off from government and aide programs and actually feel righteously angry i don’t,--- incredible the business poverty is. Cheating at all levels everywhere. It is so inculturated from colonialism on that i would quit in disgust if it weren’t for the amazing folks i get to work with and wondrous children and needs of these children being too loud to ignore. It all kind of swirls sometimes though. Like tonight. Tomorrow. Head with my eldest children to where folks are starving to death as two crops in a row have failed. In the morning nine new orphans we could not say no to (as too bad of situations), arrive- though it brings us to over 100 and not enough money.... but our children here now sleeping, were in tears of guilt that they are fine while these left out orphans are being so abused in labor and hunger as they once were- how to say no-- as long as i breath. Can’t breath and say no to these or eat and swallow without knowing i did. All helping me here feel the same way. The old Pokot mommys say" we share what we have and do it somehow - bring them please. We must. "I am so proud of these old tribal women who stood up to the thieving chiefs even. Ha! In the meantime others continue to scheme to try to get this money we don’t have enough of for the starving in front of us......Even police wanting bribe money first, even water department, and yet all the homes around us burnt down and we were left unburnt , our children untouched, by the very folks who hacked alive bodies to pieces-- they left our homes unburnt and children touched while not others- because they were told we take all children and are good-tell me, how complex human nature?....how complex? And back in Indonesia-- emails fly between me here in Kenya, and Indonesia. Just left indonesian hoping problems solved- but not of course- ha! --- i at times wonder what we are doing at all, as folks fight and scheme at our centers for bigger bonus, while others work day and night free... and as we try to sort out the children in true need and the fake presented as such at our doors each morning.... Hmmm. ... As always....year after year, human nature. Just before writing you i have another email from Indonesia and demands for money and wonder, "What is it all for really, all this chaotic day after day? Really? I am getting too old for this, too brain silly" Then i lie here in quiet and know Indonesia is so important and raising children to be educated and wanting to give back and be honest is so important for not just the children in front of us, but for the whole world of all of us, or for me as a single human facing what is before me now today. Okay i breath: next step will come of its own. This is what i can do now. And feels right to do now. So this is enough to do now. And. Go step by step through the maze in this way. Breath. Go to sleep. All is well, go to sleep. Breath and know somehow it all works out. Sleep and feel the world breathing in slumber too. Big hug and Much much love dear Woc Family